Diana Silvers is a perfectionist. It’s something she’s working on, building up the fortitude to view a mistake as something other than a weakness. There is beauty in those blemishes, or so she’s been told. The 23-year-old actor, best known for her role in the hit comedy Booksmart, isn’t quite there yet. She’s still too hard on herself, too beholden to her own near-impossible standards of perfection, too scared of “f*cking up,” she tells Teen Vogue while promoting her latest film, the intense ballet drama Birds of Paradise.
In it, Diana plays Kate, an American dancer competing for a single spot in the company at the prestigious Opéra national de Paris. She’s naive to the cut-throat world of ballet, but under the hazy tutelage of her frenemy Martine (Kristine Froseth) she begins to blossom into a star ballerina. Yet, greatness comes at a cost, and Kate has to decide how much of herself she’s willing to lose to chase her dream.
That competitive fire burns in Diana, too. She’s a skilled tennis player who, in another life, would have gone pro if not for acting. Actor, athlete — they’re more alike than not. Both disciplines are taxing on the mind, body, and spirit; and both have helped Diana reconnect with herself. Growing up, she always felt too tall and too awkward in her own skin, but Birds of Paradise gave her the fluency over her own body again. And the strength to understand the meaning of the film’s singular mantra: “Blessed is she who falls. Blessed is she who rises again.”
Below, Diana opens up to Teen Vogue about reconnecting with her body, learning to ask for help, and the transformative, magical power of storytelling.
Teen Vogue: I saw on Instagram that you recently posted how you learned a lot about your body and your spirit while filming Birds of Paradise. What did you learn?
Diana Silvers: I’m really tall [5’10”], and I grew really quickly. I actually kept growing until the age of 22. I thought I was going to be done [growing] at 17 or 18, and I grew another two inches, which is so weird. When I was younger, I had two huge growth spurts. At 13, I had my second one, and I stayed at 5’7” for a bit. I felt really out of my body. I was really awkward. I didn’t know how to use my limbs. I felt so uncomfortable in my own skin. Doing the musicals at my high school, everyone would make fun of the way that I danced. I have these really long arms and these long legs, and I didn’t know how to use them. So working with Celia [Rowlson-Hall, choreographer] helped me connect to my body. I feel way more in my body now than I ever did before. It’s nice to not feel so awkward.
Teen Vogue: When you’re taller, it’s harder to find your center of gravity while dancing.
DS: It is! Everyone always says, “It must be so great being tall.” And there are the perks of being tall. I can reach high shelves. It’s great! But the downside is that there’s a lot of disconnection because everything is so far away from your center. It’s a bit strange.
Teen Vogue: What was the ballet training process like for this film?
DS: I was living in New York. I had just moved into a new apartment in Chinatown with two of my friends, and then I booked Space Force and came back to LA. It was a challenge to fit everything around my shooting schedule. I only had three months to train before I got to Budapest [for Birds of Paradise]. So between takes, and during lunch, I was always doing something ballet related, whether it was with my Theraband or doing pilates or working my core and practicing my port de bras. I had to unlearn all of these different posture things that I had picked up from years of tennis. It was really challenging, but choreography was one of my favorite parts because Celia is just so much fun to be around, her and Jason [Kittelberger] and Ida [Saki]. I feel like I spent most of my time with the dancers because I wanted to observe them and I didn’t want to be disrespectful to the dance community. This artform is hundreds of years old, and they dedicate their lives to it. Half the time I felt like such an imposter, like, “Who am I to step into these pointe shoes?” I didn’t earn them. Why did they pick me to do this project? But that’s just me being an artist, too — that feeling of “why am I here?”